Fish odor, Cottage Cheese, and the Vagina Monologues

This has been an interesting week I must say. It started off where I had to do lectures on the penis and vagina to roomfuls of people I didn't know. A nice way to break the ice. Vaginal discharge was a large topic of discussion for several days. I don't know about you, but that's not a favorite topic of mine. When "fishy" odor and "cottage cheese" discharge kept coming up, I thought, "Why did I take this job again?"

This thought continued to circulate in my brain as other people there were talking about sick vaginas, healthy vaginas, and "the most beautiful vagina ever seen."

Don't get me wrong, these were nice people and I was grateful for the job, but it was all a little surreal. I think what was missing was the mascot. Valerie the Vagina. Tina the Twat. Harriet the Hoo-Ha.

However surreal the experience to me, the audience seemed engaged and riveted. I must have been able to pull from personal vaginal experience. Either that, or vaginas are just more enthralling than I suspect. Maybe it was my nervous humor. Somehow I doubt it was the subject matter since in the sterile fluorescent lighting of the conference room, it felt more like I was speaking to my gynecologist with my feet in the stirrups. That definitely would have been more entertaining for everyone, just probably illegal.

So all of you with vaginas reading this, take care of them, they'll be grateful. Me? I'm going to settle down with mine on the couch and watch a Netflix… "The Vagina Monologues."